One Carry-on

We've made it to London. Do you miss us yet?

Sanjay's currently showering in the South African Airlines lounge at Heathrow. Membership has its privileges. Free shower, free - unbelieveably slow - internet.

A quick note for anyone travelling to the UK. One carry-on allowed. A single, non-bulging carry-on. No purse, no backpack, no laptop - nothing extraneous. The Brits take this very seriously. For those of you who haven't personally witnessed our struggle, both Sanjay and I worked intensely over the last 4 weeks or so to pack 2 bags - a backpack and a roll-aboard each. We thought we were doing well.

Apparently not. While we made it to Heathrow on United with all of our luggage on-board, as soon as we arrived, security informed us that it is "national law" in the UK that each passenger is allowed one and only one carry on. We, therefore, could not simply connect - we, instead, had to go through customs and then, painstakingly, repack everything - for about 2 hours. We made certain we had only one carry-on and that it contains all the essentials. The non-essentials we consolidated into our hiking duffels and prepared to check them in - and, likely, lose them forever.

Perhaps we're being overly pessimistic. But trust me, you would be too. We personally witnessed the Cyprus Airways signs being replaced by the (may-as-well-have-been-scribbled-in-crayon) South African Airways check-in signs. There were three lines (I mean "queues") of people who wanted to check-in that led nowhere. While we successfully navigated through all three lines to eventually secure a boarding pass (where, by the way, the lone agent pleasantly suggested that we repack our luggage again to bring our cheap duffel bags on board and leave our larger bags to check in), their "first-rate service" did not imbue us with a sense of confidence that whatever we checked would actually ever arrive in Africa.

We really have to figure out this luggage thing because I have no desire to spend several hours a day repacking our bags. I don't know what it is with women but they overpack for everything! Why would you possibly pack 3 different pairs of shoes (in addition to the hiking boots she's already wearing.)

In any case, our escapades here so far have ensured that we actually will not get to see London at all. That's not entirely true. Sanjay had a window seat, and he saw the Millenium ferris wheel. He took, for me, a horrible photo from my Blackberry. I think there's a ferris wheel there somewhere. In any case, from my seat I missed any view of London entirely.

I really can't complain, though. Our flight from Chicago to London was 100% painless. In fact, business class was pure bliss. Thank God for Funken frequent flyer miles. There was filet mignon and Sanjay (the beefless wonder - just kidding, Sanj, you're really a beefcake ;)) had some not-terrible pasta. We had caesar salad, focaccia, warm nuts, ice cream and a fruit and cheese plate. They spoiled us (and further added to our unwieldy luggage) by providing us with an amenity kit filled with goodies like H2O body butter and an eye mask. The eye mask was completely unecessary though. Nearly 100% reclined with a ton of legroom, both of us passed out within 20 minutes of laying down to watch our choice of 9 not-terribly-exciting bedtime-story movies. For Sanj, Miami Vice and for me, The Wicker Man.

What a shitty movie. I thought it would be full of good action sequences and hot women. I couldn't even understand what was going on, and on top of that, it had plenty of Colin Farell ass crack action. To tell you the truth, I don't know what's so appealing about him. He couldn't keep his fake American accent without breaking into his native Irish accent and come on, his ass doesn't have anything on mine. I mean, have you ever seen my ass - it is truly a thing of beauty. Anyways, if you want to go see a great Michael Mann movie, go see "Heat" or "Manhunter".

So now here we are in the South African Airways lounge - which, by the way, is far nicer than our check-in experience would have belied - and we're moving ever nearer to our destination. Are you as excited as I am?

PS: There is no ampersand on this crazy British keyboard. To log into my blog, I had to navigate to yahoo and copy one - I'll paste it here again so all that effort doesn't go to waste. @@@@@@@@@@@@

My travel partner isn't too bright - see look, the ampersand is right here @ on the keyboard.

PPS: The quotation marks are in the wrong place too - it's over the number 2. What can you expect though from a country where everyone drives on the wrong side of the roads? This directional confusion also extends to airport moving walkways in case you were curious.

PPPS: In an effort to make this blog more interactive, we're adding a new feature, the Question of the Day. I know it's very exciting - here's our first:

I've just been informed that I am coming up with the question of the day...so here it comes:

Question of the Day: What are you all doing for New Year's Eve? I would tell you what we're doing but you'll have to wait until tomorrow's episode to find out.

Song of the Day: Here Comes the Sun, The Beatles
As the sun came up over England, it cast a blinding glare through the windows of our Boeing 777. I could hear my niece Zoe's favorite band in my head (Yes, she is really that cool of a 7-year-old. Her favorite band is the Beatles.) The song and the bright sunshine (Isn't England supposed to be rainy?) struck me as a beautiful omen for the journey that lies ahead.