Who Says White Girls Can't Jump?

I have to catch you up on our last few days in Kenya. They were truly fantastic.

But first, quickly, a VERY happy 8th birthday to my favorite niece, Zoe. I miss you, short stack, and I'll see you very soon. I have some VERY fun presents for you!

And now, back to our show:

After we wrote last, we spent just the night in Nairobi. We ate, mistakenly, and expensively, at the American Southwestern restaurant called the "Spur". We had nachos and fajitas. Not good. Very bad. But we were, admittedly, too scared to leave the hotel at night. And, nachos sounded good. I'm sorry but Nairobi is a disaster, it's probably the armpit of Kenya. It smells like toxic fumes have engulfed the city and it is complete chaos; if any of you are ever going to safari in the Masai Mara and you have to go through Nairobi, don't spend any more time in Nairobi than you have to.

Oh, we forgot to mention the notorious "blister beetle" that one of our fellow guests fell victim to at Jao camp. Apparently, the blister beetle is a beetle with yellow or red marking that when it comes in contact with human skin (it just has to sit on you) will secrete some nasty toxin that will create a huge, red, itchy spot that actually grows in size but here's the kicker, if you touch the red spot and then touch another part of your body, that area too will be affected. Needless to say, poor Pam had these huge nasty red spots on both of her legs and everybody seemed to offer different advice as to how to cure the rash. I'm not sure how she'll explain this to her doctor back home...

Anyway, we woke up the next morning, and went for a short drive through the center of the city so that Sanjay could pick up some camera equipment that we forgot to pack. (Yeah - I can upload my pics for you!) While I waited in the car with the guide, two men came up to the car looking for jobs. Unemployment is a huge issue in the city. I asked about wages, and my guide said that less than $100 a month was a common wage for factory workers, while those in the tourism industry make about $200 a month. To send a single child to private school (and public schools are, apparently a nightmare) costs $100 a month, and the least expensive 1-room accommodation in the worst neighborhood in Nairobi costs $30/month, while a 1-room accommodation in a middle class neighborhood costs about $70 a month.

We caught our flight from a small airport on a small plane. Actually, it had a full 15 seats. Compared to the earlier flights between Botswana and Zambia - which were on 6-8 seat planes fully equipped with the interior - and probably engine - of a 1972 Chevy Nova. So, I was comfortable, not nauseous and grateful.

Once we arrived, we were picked up by our Masai guide, Timothy, and transported to the amazing Bateleur Camp, perhaps our favorite lodge of all. Immediately, we were led to a truly sumptuous meal created by our fabulous chef, Meshack. We love him. Our first meal started with a chile lime vegetable broth, followed by a grilled pork with Thai noodles with a side of Eggplant Salad. I actually loved the eggplant, so Meshack gave me the recipe:

Eggplant Salad
(For 50 - Do I have that many friends?)

• 15 medium size Japanese Eggplant, cut into large cubes and salted to drain the water from them
• Oil To fry them in
• 4 cups Balsamic Dressing

Drain the cubes for 30 minutes. Deep fry them for 1 minute in VERY hot oil to seal them. Put them in a roasting pan and finish cooking them. Toss them with dressing - refrigerate and serve.

I think it may have actually been the fact that the fact that the eggplant was grown in Meshack's garden, which he toured with us, and which was tended by the gardener Peter, with tremendous pride and TLC. We actually signed a guest book to tour the small garden:)

We ended that meal with a dessert of fresh pineapple spears with a cardamom caramel saucy. Fricking fantastic. Meshack was amazing.

Enough about food, I know what you've all been waiting to hear about, I just have two words for you: "Cheetah Kill". We witnessed a cheetah (named Honey) along with her three male cubs hunt and ambush a pack of Thompson's gazelle. We had front row seats to the action as our tracker called out the play by play. Once the cheetahs were in range (about 50 meters) to the gazelle, we saw Honey emerge from the tall grass at full speed and chase down one of the gazelle at the back of the herd. I can't even begin to describe to you how fast that cheetah moved. It looked like the gazelle were moving in slow motion as this lean, long blur quickly closed the gap between them. Honey then leaped onto the back of one of the tailing gazelle and chomped on to its neck. While she clung on to its neck, her three cubs ran to her and began to feast on the gazelle that was still slightly moving. (All of the squeamish can skip this paragraph now.)

The cubs started to pull at the tough hide of the gazelle for a few minutes and it finally came off and they all (including Honey) began to feast on the insides of the gazelle. All you could see was these four cheetah huddled closely over this carcass (which you couldn't really see except for the occasional shot of some internal organ as the cheetahs moved to choicer pieces of flesh) and the sounds of bone and flesh being crunched and chewed. Oh, and the cheetahs faces were covered in blood. It was disgusting but at the same time none of us could turn away. And these cats eat fast; apparently hyenas and lions will steal their kill away if they happen to see it.

As the cheetahs ate, a herd of wild buffalo were making their way in the direction of the feasting cats. One of the male buffalo spotted them and pointed its snout forward towards the kill. It started sniffing the air and our guide informed us that the buffalo have smelled the carcass and think that one of their own has been killed and they are not too happy about it. All of a sudden, a few of the buffalo started to walk directly to the cheetahs in an offensive posture. As the buffalo got to a few feet away from them, one of the male cubs got up, hunched his back (to make himself appear larger) and charged the encroaching bulls. The four bulls ran off in what looked like a very comical scene. Then, a larger herd of the buffalo (about twenty) charged the cheetahs and chased them off of the carcass. Some of the buffalo had a few young with them and they slowly sniffed the ground and walked directly to the carcass and began to sniff it intensely, as if to find out whether "Uncle Bob" had been eaten. The buffalo finally left and the cheetahs returned again to finish their meal.

At this time, two jackals appeared from the brush and watched the carcass. Jackals are fierce scavengers and are pretty bold; these two jackals walked right up to the kill while the cheetahs weren't paying attention and almost snagged a bit of meat when one of the cubs spotted it and immediately chased it away. It was funny to see this cheetah chasing this runt of a dog over and over again across the plain. Anyways, the cheetahs bellies began to bulge and we left them to their meal.

And now, back to the food. For dinner that night, we had stir fry steak and shrimp that Meshack cooked himself right in front of us. We chose our own sauces and ingredients. Yum. He followed it off with a spectacular chocolate pate with a passion fruit puree. I know, I know, enough with the Martha Stewart bullshit, but I wish I could convey to you just how beautifully this man crafted every meal.

The next morning Timothy brought us some jewelry that his wife had made, so we purchased some Masai gifts - if you're lucky, we might just have something for you. Then, we went on a fairly uneventful morning game drive - no major sightings, although I'll inventory everything we saw later on. What was exciting about the drive was learning about a million fascinating facts about the Masai from Timothy. I was, perhaps, more inquisitive than most, but I cannot describe just how transfixed I was learning about their culture and traditions. Here's what I learned:

• The Masai live in very small villages. Timothy's village has 80 people. Most of them are related or very close.
• They have no running water nor electricity. As we drove in, we saw Masai women bathing in the stream. Timothy said that electricity was actually not very interesting to them, but they'd very much like running water so that they don't have to drink from and bathe in the same water as the animals.
• They live, almost exclusively, on cow's milk mixed with cow's blood. They occasionally have meat, but almost never vegetables. Timothy was very clear that they DO NOT farm at all, and said that their cows are considered a blessing from God. If someone eats wild game instead of the cows sent from God, they are shunned by the community.
• Hunting is strictly illegal on the Masai Mara, but the Masai still hunt lions for sport, to prove their bravery. The most brave warrior during the hunt gets to keep the mane of the lion, which he'll wear in ceremonies. The second most brave, which Timothy was, is marked with matching knife wounds in both arms, and receives a headdress of ostrich feathers
• The men, at least, seem as much associate with their "age group" as they are with their families. They go through the rite of circumcision together around the age of 15, and seem bound together for life. As for the circumcision, it is performed by an elder with a knife, and if you flinch, you are known for life to be a coward, and are given only a common-bird feathered headdress. If you are brave, however, you receive a headdress made from the feathers of the most beautiful birds on the Mara. (By the way, Mara is the Masai, or Maa, word for "spotted", as the plains of the Masai Mara are speckled with Acacia trees.
• Female circumcision is still practiced, around the age of 13, although many in the community, including Timothy, are working to end the practice. He said that in many cases the girls themselves wanted to participate in the ritual, for the sake of tradition.
• They are polygamists. Men have anywhere from 1-3 wives, depending on how many dowries they can afford.
• They are Christian. But Timothy had never heard of Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. Their traditional religion was monotheistic as well, and Timothy says it simply is not that different, at its core, from Christianity.
• They're semi-nomadic, and Timothy's village has only been in its current location for about 4 months. They move around to find new food and water sources for their cattle.
• The cattle sleep in a sourt of atrium covered with dung within the confines of a fence that encircles the two rooms in the house, where the humans sleep.
• They don't use a calendar. Timothy did not even know what his birthday or precise age is, and the Masai do not celebrate birthdays. That said, we did hear the Masai sing a song of "Happy, Happy" to someone celebrating a birthday. They simply sang the word "happy" over and over again. Very fun.
• The primary jobs for women are jewelry making and beekeeping. Actually, our guide is very interested in setting up a website to sell the jewelry from the women in his village. We let him know that we had some friends in the States who might be willing to help him set up a quick ebay site to sell the jewelry - let us know if anyone's interested in helping out our Masai friend!

After our morning of Masai inquisition, we sat down again for one of Meshack's delicacies. He fed us:

Moroccan Bisteeya
Serves 6

2 cups butter, melted into Ghee
1 cup onion, chopped finely
8 diced chicken thighs, chopped or shredded finely + 1 cup chicken stock
1/2 cup dried apricots, finely chopped
1/2 cup blanched almonds, chopped
2 teaspoons of ground cinnamon + 1 teaspoon extra
3 teaspoons toasted and ground cumin
1 teaspoon turmeric
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 cup Greek Yoghurt
4 eggs, lightly beaten
1/4 cup fresh parsley, chopped and 1/2 cup chopped coriander leaves
10 large sheets phyllo pastry
Salt & Ground black pepper
3 tablespoons icing sugar and the extra teaspoon cinnamon

1. Preheat the oven to 180C. Heat 25g of the butter in a pan; gently fry the onion until pale and golden. Add the chicken, chicken stock and all spices. Cook gently until done.
2. Stir in the apricots and cook for a further 2 minutes. Remove from the head and cool. Shred the chicken (we had it chopped, though, and I prefer that, I think). Season to taste with salt and pepper, then add parsley and coriander. Beat eggs and yogurt together and add.
3. Melt the remaining butter. Unroll the phyllo pastry. Keep the pastry sheets covered with a clean, damp dish towel to prevent drying.
4. Line the bowl with 3 layers of the pastry sheets. Spoon in the chicken mixture. Sprinkle with almonds, 1 teaspoon icing sugar and cinnamon. Fold up edges of bottom sheets in a rough pattern (to enclose the chicken in a pastry puff). Brush with butter.
5. Crumple the remaining pieces and place them on the top of each pie, then brush over any remaining melted butter. Bake the pie for about 20 minutes, until the pastry is golden brown and crisp. Serve pie hot or cold, dusted with the remaining cinnamon and sugar.

The recipe isn't exactly clear on a couple of things - he made individual pies, and I think this is for one larger pie, so you might have to experiment a little - but it tastes FANTASTIC. Again, it's probably best with herbs from Meshak's garden. When he presented his recipes to us, they were rolled with a sprig of fresh rosemary, and he signed them - "Thank you for coming - Chef Meshack".

That night, we went on a game drive again. Timothy told us we were going for a night drive, and drove us around to the Mara River. One thing about the Masai Mara is that it can get cold very quickly. The weather is extremely unpredictable; within a matter of minutes, it can go from rain to really hot to really cold and windy. Needless to say, when the sun went down, it was really cold and windy especially when driving around in an open Range Rover. Also, my allergies were killing me. There is so much pollen in the air that I could not stop sneezing, thank God for Stacey's packing every medicine known to man because the Benadryl sure did the trick.

So as we went on our drive, we got to a spot with firelit torches behind a thick set of trees. We came to a clearing and saw a tent setup with dining tables, the chef at a huge barbecue rack, and even a bar setup; all lit by torches. It was awesome - and a complete surprise! After getting a few cocktails, I heard what sounded like a hippo call very close by (hippos come out of the water and feed at night and you don't want to be anywhere near a hippo). The hippo sound came closer and closer and then all of a sudden we heard blood-curdling screams all around us which scared the crap out of all of us. Then a group of about 15 Masai warriors appeared and started to sing and dance for us. (Actually, if you must know, I was in the zip-up tented port-o-let just pulling down my pants and nearly wet myself as I thought I heard a hippo closing in on me. I quickly pulled up my pants to see what the hell was going on.)

After a few circle dances and songs, the Masai began a traditional jumping competition in which each Masai warrior jumps to see who can jump the highest and win the respect of the other warriors. At this point, one of the warriors grabbed Stacey by the hand and led her into the jumping competition. Stacey immediately leaped into the air, graceful and majestic. It was like watching a cheetah bound through the Mara, or like Michael Jordan performing one of his mind-blowing, tongue sticking-out, dunks. Everyone at the camp (including the warriors) were awestruck by what they were witnessing. (I admit that I didn't think it could happen but white girls can definitely jump.) Being the vigilant photographer that I am, I caught a picture of this impressive display of agility and athleticism, in mid-leap mind you. (I will be selling a limited number of these prints in case you are interested in a poster-sized version of this once in a lifetime occurrence.) After her solo, each warrior grabbed one of us and led us in the dance.

After a fabulous dinner of barbecued chicken, ribs, lamb and a dessert of fried bananas with caramel sauce, we departed back to our lodge accompanied by an armed warrior. (Apparently, a lion had been wandering through our camp and this was a safety precaution.) We saw a couple of hippos with the spotlight but nothing else too terribly interesting.

The next morning, we went for an early game drive leaving at 6:30 in the morning. The roads out were especially wet and muddy today. After driving around for about an hour, our third passenger spotted something sitting in a tree. It turned out to be the elusive Mara leopard. (It is extremely rare to see the leopard out here.) We followed it around as it sneaked through the tall grass. It was extremely wild and did not want to be photgraphed at all. It finally leaped across the road and disappeared.

We drove further and, due to a rainy season that's lasted much longer than usual, we were splipping and sliding all over the road. It was actually kind of fun. Until we almost missed our flight out to Tanzania. We slid off the road into a ditch, and Timothy politely asked us to get out of the Land Rover and onto the leopard, cheetah, lion and hyena-filled Mara. As it turns out the animals were not to fear. The mud, however, was another story. We literally sunk about 6 inches into a thick, black muck that splashed onto our departure clothes as we walked away from our vehicle. Fortunately, we both avoided another pant count deduction. But barely. After another car (gari, in Swahili) came and pulled Timothy out, we returned to the lodge, caught a quick breakfast, and were off to the air strip for our departure.

Before we left, Timothy gave us each a very special bracelet that his wife had made for us. As we boarded our flight, and continued our takeoff, he waved and blew us kisses. I knew our safari was ending, and I almost cried.

Despite predicted rains everywhere in our path, the sun has shone brightly on every step of our journey so far - here's hoping the same is true in Tanzania.

PS: Here's a summary of what we saw on the Masai Mara -

• Mammals: Thompson Gazelle, Grant's Gazelle, Giraffe, Topi Antelope, Warthogs, Cheetah, Silverback Jackal, Cape Buffalo, Waterbuck, Eland, Heartbeast Antelope, Spotted Hyena, Elephant, Olive Baboon, Hippo, Crocodile, Zebra, Leopard

Birds: Ostrich, Cattle Egret, Black Stork, Egyptian Goose, Secratarybird, African Whitebacked Vulture, Tawny Eagle, Longcrested Eagle, African Crowned Eagle, Black-chested Snake Eagle, Dark Chanting Goshawk, Red-Necked Spurfowl, Gray Crowned Crane, Black-bellied Bustard, Speckled Mousebird, Cinnamon-chested Bee-eater, Lilac-breasted Roller, Southern Ground Hornbill, Crowned Hornbill, Yellow-Throated Longclaw, Red-faced Cistacola, Gray-backed Fiscal, Common Fiscal, Superb Starling, Red-Billed Oxpecker, Fan-tailed Widowbird, Fin-tailed Whydah, African Citril, Cinnamon-breasted Bunting